Raging Storms (3/9/09)

I love rain storms. Love them.

When I was little, they terrified me like no other. Like bawling, hiding, waking my parents up at 1 a.m. fear. Now I find amazing amounts of comfort in them. Humans can't ontrol the weather. There's absolutely no way. So when I look out and see the rain pattering on the sidewalk and watch the lightning flash across teh sky and hear the thunder roaring in the heavens, I feel God's control and power, and He reminds me that He can do anything.

My question to myself is this: why can't I do this with the storms in life? I cannot control them. I see the problems flying and the judgments flashing and the fears shouting louder than almost any other sound. But instead of seeing God's power, I find myself hiding, terrified. Why can't I learn to dance in this version of teh rain? Why, instead, do I allow myself to start sinking in it?

My God does not change. He is constant, never failing; He never lets go. It is not his power that changes in each storm. It's how I see things. And I'm done. Today, Pastor Rick started talking about worrying and fretting and about how it can get to a sinful level. And I think that there are times when I get there. I dwell on things and turn them over and over in my mind and keep going. I try to let go; my heart wants to but my head won't listen. Especially lately, and I really don't know why. But every time I reach that point, the verse from a blog a while ago comes back to my mind. "Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's troubles are enough for today."

Today especially this has been hitting me. In Sunday school, we talked about being tuned into our own issues instead of the needs of others, and I confess to doing that too often. I turn these silly problems that I can't fix over and over in my head and I miss out on the needs of others that I can do something about. Then Pastor Rick reinforced everything in the sermon.

I know my God is bigger than any problem this world can throw at me. "In this world you will have troubles, but take heart! I have overcome the world," Jesus told us. How amazing is He! He has it all under control, so why worry about what I will never control? I know I said almost the exact same thing in my last blog, but He's been reinforcing and showing me in new ways, and I'm learning, slowly.

The tough part comes next: I know it, now I have to live it. (Like Michelle says. =D)

Congratz to the Class of '09!

Ok, so this is a bit off subject from my usual blogs, but I want to say congratz to all of the graduates. I’ve been to three graduations in the last nine days, and every time I find myself so incredibly happy for them.

Today in church, for some reason, it hit me as Hannah went up to sing her song, exactly how proud I am of them, all of them. The made it through their thirteen years of spelling words, nap times, lost library books, and final exams to reach this point.

Most of all, though, I was amazed at how many trials and tribulations outside of class work they went through to get to that point. And I’ve spoken to a couple of them, and hearing them talk about what God has done in their lives amazes me.

So, that’s just kind of a quick update. I’ll be praying for all of ‘em, and I’m excited to see what God will continue to do in their lives.

Way to go, guys! Ya made it!

Praise

He is Lord, He is Lord,
He is risen from the dead,
And He is Lord!
Every knee shall bow,
Every tongue confess,
That Jesus Christ is Lord!

I've been talking all about how God has been teaching me, but today, I just want to praise him for all he is and all he will always be.

My god is not hate. He is love.
My god is not lenient. He is just.
He is the Lord, the ruler of all things.
He is all powerful, and He holds the whole world in his hands.
He is the Creator, the maker of all things.
He created each star and knows them by name.
He created the storms.
He controls each and every lightning bolt.
He made the mountains, and He made the depths of the seas.
He overcame all temptation.
He is both God and Son of God.
He conquered death and all of this world.
He created all people, people like Meghan and Ozzy and Caleb and Sarah, who are all so different yet bringing Him glory in their own way.
He knows the needs of each and every person and loves them.
He sees all of our bad yet still loves us and wants a relationship with us.
He has the power to wash all sins away; He loves us enough to be willing to do it.
He is my Jesus, my savior and lord and He reigns forever more.
Amen.

Matthew 6:34... Out of Control

"Jesus said, 'So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's troubles are enough for today." - Matthew 6:34

This is my life verse. Honestly, I'm a constant worrier. I try to latch onto tomorrow, and I try to figure out exactly how things will work out. And I fail at both, every single time.

Lately, I've been asking God to show me how to not worry, how to give Him control. And God doesn't do things like most teachers; instead of just talking about it or showing you how, he puts you in situations and forces you to learn. And lately he has been doing that like never before in my life.

One of my good friends, Ozzy, is going into the military, as I have said before. But today, I found out something. He is not leaving in September, like we had thought. He is leaving in May. Our time with him was cut back by four months, and he will probably go to Iraq, where he could be killed at any time. And there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it.

Another one of my friends, and I cannot go into details, is being pulled right and left, demons attacking on all sides, and she can't fix what's happening. She has no power to change it.

In my own life, my family is completely changing. My brothers hate each other, my grandmother is missing my grandpa and getting so afraid at night that we are over there more than at home, and my parents' marriage is in a rough place, to say the least. And every attempt I make at making things better is completely shot down. There is nothing I can do to change it.

God has been showing me that I cannot do it, and He is teaching me that worrying about it will not help anything, because I don't know what tomorrow will bring in any of these situations. In everything, I have to give it to Him, because without Him, I am powerless. He's also teaching me to be thankful for what He is doing rather than worrying about what might happen next.

Ozzy is following God's plan for his life; he is being given a chance to go like we are commanded and spread the Gospel in all nations, with our troops and possibly even the people of Iraq. And we still have three months with him, God willing. Because we can never know when this life will end. We cannot worry about tomorrow, because we do not know if tomorrow will come. God has given us today, and we need to be thankful for that and live life today at its fullest.

My friend is struggling. But she still trusts God, and she isn't pushing him away like some people do in crisis, and He is with her always. He'll never let her go, no matter what she goes through. And I know she has a couple of people she really trusts to be there for her, and God has given her that.

And look at how blessed we are! My family lives within an hour drive of every other close relative. We get to spend time together. And we were given so many years with my grandfather and we still have time to be with my grandma. And God has given my mom, my grandma, and me a chance to be a light to my non-Christian family members.

And He gave us his son, Jesus, so that in this life, we would true life that would last forever. We have His love. And I am more thankful for that than I will ever be able to express, even with eternity ahead of me.

So why should we worry? As humans, we are not promised another day on this earth, but as Christians, we are promised an eternity with our Lord and Savior. What happens today and what might happen tomorrow aren't even a speck on the timeline of forever. So why live life wondering what might happen tomorrow instead of living in today for Him, our Creator, the one who gives us the promise of forever?

And even when things feel out of control, know this: they are out of our control, not God's, and he triumphed over death and called the world into being just by speaking. His control is absolute, and He works for the good of those who love and serve him.

en teaching me this over and over, and I'm learning to let go, to give everything to Him, because He is the ONLY one who can change things. He may use me as a tool, but anything good or perfect done is done by Him alone.

Dear Heavenly Father, Lord,
Today, Lord, I've had these things on my heart and mind, and Lord, I'm giving them to you today. God, I can't do it, but you can. Father, you are the Creator, the one who put us on this earth, Lord. And you know each one of us by name. You are bigger and greater than we will ever understand, Lord, and I praise you for your creation.

Lord, today, I lift up Ozzy, lord. We've all had a hard time letting him go, Father, but I can't ask you to keep him here for us. Lord, he is carrying out your will, and I pray that the time we do have with him, Lord, will be a time where we all grow in closeness, not letting the upcoming goodbye put a strain on everything. I pray for Meghan, and Zak, and Sef, Lord, three of the people closest to him, Lord, because I know how hard it is to let go. I pray that they'll see you working in this situation, and that Oz will lean on you for always.

God, I pray for my friend. You know who she is. Everything in her life is chaos right now, Lord. She's dealing with things I could never understand. But you know her heart, and you know exactly how she feels, Lord. I pray that you'll be with her, and that she'll know that you're there, even if she can't always feel you.

I pray for my family, Lord. We're all so far apart. I pray for my grandma; she misses Papa so much, and I can understand, sort of, but I don't know how she feels exactly. I pray for my brothers. They both need you so much, God, and I don't know how to tell them about you. Jason just doesn't want to hear. I pray that you'll open their hearts to your word, Lord, even when they don't think they want to know. I pray that my mom will see what she loved about my dad, Lord, and that maybe she will change her mind.

Most of all, Lord, I pray that we'll all live to bring you honor and share your grace with all of those around us, and I pray that tomorrow will not be something we panic about, but something we wait patiently for. I pray you'll give us our needs daily, and that we won't ask for more than that. And I pray for your perfect will, and that it be done, for you know the bigger picture in life, God.

I thank you for all you have given us, Father, and I pray that we will be joyful and thankful even when things seem out of control, because they are out of our control, not yours, and you are the only one who can change everything, make something out of nothing, and you are the only one we need.

In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.

Shreddin' the Gnar (1)... Josh

Josh (Written during 3rd block English)

The Great Commission tells us to go and make disciples of all the nations.

Well, I have a good friend named Josh; I've known him since first grade. And as far as I know, he is not a Christian. Instead of being up front with him, I have been dancing around the Gospel. Instead of going, I've been saying "come." "Come to church with me," or "Our church is starting volleyball, you should come." I've been trying to get him to come to the Gospel rather than going to bring it to him. There's nothing wrong with inviting him to church. But that cannot be my only way of sharing.

So today, I plan to shred the gnar (share the Gospel with no inhibitions) with Josh, and truly take the Gospel to him. Hopefully, if I follow through, the results will be below...

Results (Written day after sharing):
I was completely terrified; as I headed to the bus, I just freaked out. But I ended up getting to sit next to him, which was incredibly lucky. We started talking about this and that, like his shop project and the movie Gladiator (I've never seen it; he was shocked). Then he noticed the D2S band still stuck around my wrist. And he asked me about it. And what did I say? "It's from Dare to Share, a conference I went to this weekend that equips students to share the Gospel." Then I let it drop.

As we kept talking, I knew that I could not just let it go, but I had no idea how to bring it back up again. Then he started talking about how he got his phone back, and I told him about the cell phone challenge and about how he was the first person I thought of calling, even though I didn't have my phone. And he gave me this weird look. But I kept going, and I asked him if he knew where he would go when he died. He said Heaven. And when I asked why, he said because he believed that Jesus died on the cross to save him. When I asked if he had trusted in Him, he answered yes.

So the person I planned to share with ended up being a Christian, for which I praise God! I also thank Him for giving me the opportunity and the courage to try, because had it been just me, I would have let it go; God's power and strength is the only thing that kept me going.

And I pray that I will wear His armor every day, and that I will always have the boots of readiness on and will be going with a determination to Honor my Father and Creator.

Amen.