"She Said Yes"

Wow. I just finished reading, "She Said Yes," the story of Cassie, a girl killed in the Columbine shooting nearly ten years ago. And what it talked about really spoke to me.

A lot of it had to do with the freedom to be yourself and how Cassie's life changed so much through Christ. But what hit me the most, I think, was how her family spoke of their regrets and how she didn't talk about God a lot, but after she became a Christian, she really lived the Gospel.

Talking about regrets really hit me hard. I look back to when I lost my grandpa, and there are regrets there, and I don't want to have any more. I need to live to be myself. As strange, perhaps morbid, as this sounds, I want to live each day in death. Not like, I want to die today death. But along the thought process of 'if I were to die today, would I have been a good and faithful servant for Him or would I regret how I spent my time?' I also want to do as the Bible commands and die to myself daily so that I might live for Christ. And if I were put in that situation, I would want to be ready to sacrifice it all for Jesus. But physically dying for him, though it would be hard and absolutely terrifying, isn't the hardest part, I guess. The hard part is dying daily to live for him. And I struggle with that so often, but

In the book, Cassie's mom questions whether she would have had enough courage to do what Cassie did that day and say, "Yes," to believing in God even though she knew it could end her life right there. And honestly, I question whether I would. Do I have that courage and passion for Him? Do you?

My prayers are that over time (because God does things one step at a time, not all at once), I will have enough faith and courage not only to die for him physically if the day comes, but that I will have enough faith and courage to do so in my daily life. Thinking about it, both seem like a scary undertaking, but Phillippeans says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," and I believe it. I know I'll mess up, I know I won't ever get it perfect, but I know He'll forgive me when I mess up, and I pray that he'll give me to strength to live in that mind frame and get out of my comfort zone.

I think that's all, though. Hopefully posting more later.

Galatians 5:1

"So Christ has really set us free. Now make sure you stay free and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law." - Galatians 5:1 NLT

In this passage, Paul is talking about the Ten Commandments. The people of Galatia had gone away from trusting in Christ alone for their salvatian and were falling into trying to be made right by the law (at least, this is how I understood it, but I may be mistaken. Read Galatians and you'll understand it a lot better than I can make so).

To me, this verse hit on a personal level, and I may be taking it slightly out of context, but as far as the verse itself goes, this is what God said to me. I feel as though in my life, the law is society, specifically high school expectations and peer pressure. As I read this verse, it was God's way of reminding me that Jesus freed me to be who he meant me to be, and if I keep focusing on peers and what they want from me, our own little high school law of sorts, then I just get tied up and weighted down. And in being tied up, I become ineffective, and if I try to fight with those who tie me, I only get further tangled. Because they're not the ones who freed me, and they never will be. Jesus has that power. And if I'm living and working for him, it will be a lot harder for me to get tied and tangled. I may trip on the strings every now and again, but I won't be held in place, keeping me from walking with him. And if I'm truly walking with him, maybe others will see what it's like not to be tied up and ask him to untie them and begin their own walk with the Lord. So I can only hope and pray to fight against my attackers knowing he is with me and to love them and try to make them see what he's done in me. Because it's not a group of free people tying me down. Those who tie me down are bound themselves, and they need to be freed by Jesus.

I'm honestly amazed. In the Bible it talks about God giving you the words to speak when your sharing his message, or something along those lines, and as I typed this message, there were things I hadn't thought of saying that just came and flowed while I wrote them. A lot of the things towards the end of this message were things he was teaching me as I reread the verse and typed this. (My blogging isn't only to get a message out but to think about what I've read and what God's saying to me through it. Sometimes it's my form of meditation.)

I think that's all for this one... Thanks for reading, and God bless! He is so amazing!